Diminishing Breasts: Agony or Comfort

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and a considerable percentage of beholders believe that curvy bodies are one important aspect of female beauty. Breasts and butt are key aspects which enhance the curviness of the female body and as the buzz is 36 seems to be the right number propagated by media, art, cinema etc.
As a teenager I had breasts which were decently sized for my age and looked good. But I could never appreciate them or at the least even relate to them.
Since childhood I have been an unacclaimed tomboy. Most of  the activities I was involved in, were the ones, boys of my age would enjoy. So I was deemed the so called son of the family. This made me relate myself more towards the ways guys dress and look. So when breasts came along, it didn't seem to go along with the attitude and persona I had in mind.
They also kind of got in the way of my activities. I used to be quite active at sports which were predominantly running and long jump. When I was out of the track, I would be running behind buses, running to catch up with people, running off to the shop to purchase things and despite the humidity and sun these activities were fun. Post puberty, running became tiresome as there would be this weight in the chest which would bob around, not stay in a place and make the whole experience tiring as I would be constantly thinking about the flesh sitting on my chest.
On listening to my troubles, my mother got me my first bra which was supposed to hold the breasts and reduce the feel of having a weight on my chest, in the literal sense. In the name of holding it upright and providing support, I strapped it tight around my diaphragm and pulled up the shoulder straps as well. They sure revived the joy in running, but humidity and hot weather gave way to sweat and sweat combined with the not so gentle fabric tightly wrapped around my skin gave rise to rashes. But rashes didn't mean that I could stop wearing it as once inside the bra, they didn't feel good outside the bra. The bra woes made me bitter towards my breasts.
While battling the relatability, running issues and the bra pain, came along the phase where men would ogle, run their hands or grab my breasts in the bus, on the streets, in the shops. The stigma with retaliation attracting attention and victim shaming which existed those days would make me want the breasts to disappear.

But it was biology and they were here to stay.

My mother tried her best to reason with me. She explained how they gave form and beauty to a woman's body. We did have a tree in our courtyard which had a lean S shape. She would often use that tree as a example to explain how the curvy trunk looked attractive and beautiful.
No avail.

Her wise words did make sense later when womanhood hit mentally, physically and sexually. They finally found acceptance in my mind and body. I started getting comfortable with their size and form and my bras. Except for the men occasionally grabbing or grazing hands, they felt like perfectly fine parts of my body.

Some years later, I had puffed up quite a bit and so did my breasts. But this time I was happy about what biology had done to my breasts. To address the body puffiness, I started working out, dieting and performing all the jazz associated with weight loss. The results were quite positive and the reduction in fat around my belly area enhanced the size of my breasts. It was a win win.

Then evolved the idea of having a healthy body. So strength training workouts were scheduled and routines were followed to the T. The effects again started to show in terms of toning. However my sports bras were wearing off and I ordered some online. The new bra had a very breathable material but it felt too airy as soon as I tried it on. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that it was loose.
Different brands size in different manner and so I went to the store for an exchange and trying it out first hand. I was left shocked in the changing room when the best fit was two sizes smaller.
A change in bra size would most likely mean that breasts reduced in size or the fat in the upper back had reduced.
I went back into the changing room and inspected my breasts for quite sometime. I couldn't make out any changes visible to the naked eye. So I blamed it on the brand and got out of the store after the purchase.
The whole irony of the situation kept playing in my head on the way home. It was like sand on a beach. When I didn't want it, it stuck to my body, it just wouldn't leave me and when I accepted it and was delighted about having it, big waves were coming and washing it off bit by bit.